Thinking of Leaving?

This relationship isn’t feeling right, but you’re not ready to call it quits.

There are times when it has felt so very sweet. Times when you feel loved, connected, safe, and just okay in some deep place where you never really felt okay when you were single. And you really do care about each other. 

But nowadays, this relationship feels more like a source of stress than support. You often feel disconnected. You’re constantly worrying about whether you should maybe break up, or how you could make the relationship better. Maybe if you were just more clear and confident about your boundaries or better at communicating your needs, things would go better.

You worry about what will happen if this ends. Will you really be able to find something better? Or will you wander from long painful single periods to settling for “meh” relationships forever? The analysis is exhausting and the options look bleak most of the time. 

But none of that is the worst part. The worst part, the thing that’s causing that gnawing sense of dread deep in your stomach, is the feeling that you’re not not being honest, with others or even with yourself. 

You’ve tried to address that feeling. You’ve sat with it. You’ve journaled. You’ve told your partner that you’re feeling uncertain. You’ve tried to shame yourself into taking action, saying you’re being “selfish” by staying in a relationship that’s not aligned, just because it meets some of your needs in the short term.

And yet, here you are, still in the relationship and still carrying around that horrible feeling.

What might happen if you look there, at that deep feeling of dread, with some real support?

Let’s go there together. I won’t offer the tough love kind of support. You’ve tried enough of that already. This will be the kind of support where we bring light AND tenderness AND patience to those dark corners. I’ll bring my flashlight and so much compassion for those places in you, especially the ones you think are bad, ugly, selfish, and weak. 

We’ll bring attention and softness to exactly what is happening in you, and you discover that those bad places inside of you are actually really scared and really lonely and really, really adorable. Over time, you’ll learn to reflexively look away from those messy places less often and I’ll keep shining my flashlight.

And little by little, clarity will emerge. 

And it’s not just clarity on whether you stay or leave this relationship. That question will get softer, and you’ll keep making decisions. But what you’ll develop along the way is compassion, patience, and trust for yourself.

Let’s talk.