Moving Forward
This isn’t what you were hoping for when you finally had the courage to let go.
You dared to hope that something better was waiting for you on the other side of the heartache. But this?! Sure, it’s healthier than that relationship. But it’s also lonely and boring and sad and kind of lifeless. The way you felt when you were falling in love and heard your favorite song or went on a road trip or cuddled with your ex… will you ever feel those ways again??? You’ve learned to get by without, but you never really wanted to.
You try to do things about it. Sometimes you go to a Meetup or a potluck or a pick up sporting event, but you often leave feeling exhausted, disconnected, and insecure. You’re longing for deep connection, but mostly the world seems full of unsatisfying, uncomfortable small talk that drains your energy.
Maybe you’re having doubts about leaving your ex. Maybe sometimes you wonder whether they have a new partner and you feel those pangs of panic or jealousy, so scared that your heart will never feel full, that you’ll never really feel alive again. After all, maybe you only felt alive because of the drama and the toxicity. Maybe you’re thinking a “healthy” social life is probably kind of boring and you’ll just have to get used to it.
You can find the connection you’re looking for without abandoning yourself.
Connection, with ourselves and with others, happens naturally when we’re able to relax, which happens when we’re feeling safe. We’ll explore what might be making it hard for you to feel safe, to relax, and to connect. Here are some places we might start looking:
What do you keep doing (or not doing) just because other people think you are (or aren’t) supposed to? In other words, where are you the most scared to be yourself? (Did you know that in some places it’s normal to pick your nose in public??!!)
What’s something about you that would be super embarrassing if that cute guy in your dance class found out about it?? What if that something is one of the most lovable/adorable things about you?
If you took a truth potion and couldn’t tell any lies, even white lies, for a day, which things that you normally “would never” say would actually build trust and connection?
What will you do if I say something that annoys you or makes you angry? Will you tell me? Will you hint at it? Will you hide it and tell a friend later? What do you want the answer to this question to be?
What do you want that you’re scared to admit that you want?
Let’s talk.
